I Will Try To Fix You
by RENTheadGleek
Summary: Quinn has a terrible past that she keeps well hidden, just like the scars on her body. Will a certain Diva be able to help her? Or is it already too late? Faberry endgame. AU: Quinn was never a Cheerio, she has only ever been involved in New Directions. Rated T for: self harm, domestic abuse (Summary sucks, but the story is better!)
1. Cherry Lip-gloss

**I Will Try To Fix You**

**By RENTheadGleek**

**This is my first ever attempt at writing any sort of fanfic, so please feel free to leave me any suggestions you have on ways I can improve my writing.**

**Unfortunately I do not own Glee, or any of it's characters (EVEN THOUGH I WOULD LOVE TO!)**

***_Some of my writing may be triggering for some people, so I apologise if that is the case. However, I will do my best to warn you on any potentially triggering chapters.*** (Deals with self harm, and violence primarily...)_

_**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME READERS**_

* * *

She didn't care to remember when or why it first started, but it was certainly true - Quinn Fabray was addicted. Maybe it was because her sister Frannie ran away from home when Quinn was 12 due to her physically abusive parents. Maybe it was down to the fact that her parents expected nothing short of perfection from her, or she would receive verbal and physical abuse for months on end. Or perhaps it was because she demanded so much from herself that she saw herself as a failure in every moment she was awake. One thing is for certain though - Quinn Fabray is addicted to cutting herself.

* * *

**_~FLASHBACK~_**

_A younger version of Quinn is abruptly woken from her sleep by a loud smashing of glass. She sits up quickly and tries to fathom whether what she just heard was in her head or not. The time is 9:30pm. She hears it again, and this time she hides under her duvet to try and wipe out the memory of the noise that disturbed her peaceful slumber, and to pray that whatever just happened doesn't happen again. She lies there breathing quietly for precisely 4 minutes before she plucks up enough courage to re-emerge from her shelter. The house has a strange vibe all of a sudden and Quinn uses her newly-found confidence to get out of her bed to investigate the noise. She slowly tiptoes towards her bedroom door, being careful to steer clear of any creaky floorboards she had made a note of a few years previously. _

_Without warning her bedroom door flies open knocking her onto the ground and closes immediately. 'Please don't let it be them' she silently prays to a God she isn't sure exists anymore._

_"Quinnie, I'm so sorry honey, come here", her older sister whispers so as not to alarm her. Upon hearing Frannie's voice, Quinn scrambles over to where her sister is now sat on the shared bedroom floor and begins to cry out of relief that her sister is okay this time, and out of fear that this could happen to her at any moment._

_"Shh, it's okay I've got you," whispers Frannie whilst rubbing her younger sister's back soothingly to try and suppress the fear she has._

_Quinn relaxes into her sister and looks up at her blood-stained, swelling face. "What happened Frannie?", she asks not sure if she wants to hear her answer._

_"They just got mad again sweetie, but they will never hurt you as long as I'm around. I'll always protect you"._

_And with that said, both sisters fell asleep on the floor in each other's arms until the next morning._

* * *

Rachel swiftly made her way from geography class to the bathroom so she could touch up her lip-gloss and have a quick vocal warm up before Glee Club that day. Boy, was she glad the bell had sounded! She hated geography since her usual teacher Mrs. Levick went on maternity leave, as her class was passed from pillar to post between numerous (and under-qualified, in her opinion) substitute teachers. She recently made the decision to do her vocal exercises in this particular bathroom because it was rarely used by the student body due to the fact that it was so small. Also, she had been 'graced' with numerous slushies whenever she warmed up her voice by her locker, so this was the safer option.

As she walked into the bathroom today, however, she noticed that there was a stall occupied. _'That's strange,'_ she thought _'it's probably a freshman'_. However, this didn't deter the diva from her necessary warm up. Telling herself that the freshman would appreciate her talent, she started with scales whilst getting her cherry lip-gloss out of her purse. No sooner had she retrieved it though, it was out of her hand and rolling towards the occupied stall.

"Shit…" cursed Rachel, mentally reprimanding herself for using such language in the presence of another person, whilst desperately trying to chase her favourite lip-gloss, until it had indeed rolled underneath.

* * *

Quinn was brought out of her flashback to the feeling of something touching her foot. She was sat on the floor with her back against the wall of the stall with her left arm flowing with blood and a razor blade in her right hand. She panicked when she realised she was no longer alone in here. Quinn, similarly to Rachel, had always chosen this bathroom to cut in seeing as no one ever came in, which meant no one would ever see her so vulnerable. Her family had always had the same philosophy that bad feelings didn't exist if they were never spoken about.

"Could you kick out my lip-gloss please? I will hold you personally responsible if I'm late for Glee rehearsal," Rachel asked. No response.

"I know someone is in there, now pass it out or so help me…" Rachel was growing more frustrated by the second. How dare a mere freshman ignore her like this!

Her short fuse and change in mood reminded Quinn of the encounter she had with her parents this morning, and broke down in heart-wrenching sobs almost immediately.

* * *

Rachel, hearing the sobs, realised she had been awfully harsh and felt instant regret. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, but if you could roll it back that would be great". Still no response.

Quinn realised that she had to come out to face the diva sooner rather than later, so she grabbed some toilet roll, stopped her bleeding arm, and rolled her sleeve back down. She walked out of the stall with her signature Fabray façade and handed Rachel's lip-gloss back to her before quickly exiting the bathroom. It was clear that she had been crying by the redness on her face, as well as the cries she had heard.

"See you in Glee, Quinn?" But it was too late, she had already gone.

Confused as to why the blonde had been locked in a stall crying her heart out, Rachel slowly walked to Glee whilst her brain was working overtime. She entered the choir room last, expecting to see Quinn there but she never showed up. _'Where is she?'_ Rachel thought, growing increasingly concerned. To the whole student body, Rachel only seemed self-absorbed. But in actual fact she was very good at sensing when there was something serious going on with other people. She carried on with Glee, making it her priority to talk to Quinn later tonight.

Where did she go?

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER! PLEASE REVIEW :-)**

**I'm completely open to ideas, so don't be shy!**


	2. Lima Bean

Thank you for the reviews and suggestions so far, you guys are awesome!

I'm using an idea that came from a guest called bdean, so if you're still reading I hope you enjoy!

**_WARNING: This chapter could be very triggering for some readers_**

* * *

_"See you in Glee, Quinn?"_

Quinn knew that it was rude to ignore her question, because after all she was just curious, but she had to get out of there. She couldn't let Rachel see her cry. She was broken. And she scared because she knew a certain Diva would never let this subject drop.

As she ran out of the school doors and into the car park she felt the tears streaming down her face. They felt like they were burning her face and she just needed to get out of here as fast as she could. Quinn eventually reached her red Volkswagen Beetle and collapsed into the driver's seat. The tears were coming thick and fast but she had to get out of school – she had to avoid Rachel at all costs. She started driving despite the fogginess the tears had created in her eyes.

Feeling slightly anxious that she could possibly be pursued by Rachel, she put her foot on the gas and sped towards the Lima Bean. _'Why would she follow me anyway? I'm a worthless piece of shit'_, she thought to herself. This place had been her sanctuary away from home for about a year now. Quinn parked her car and sat there for a second to gather her thoughts and mentally prepare herself for being viewed by the public. After about 5 minutes, she headed through the doors of the Lima Bean where she was greeted by a pleasant looking barista.

"The usual order for you today, miss?"

"Yeah sure, I'll be sat in the corner"

Quinn sat down in her usual secluded corner of the building and watched the barista making her usual – tall mocha, non-fat, no whip. After a few minutes, he walks back over and places her order on the table. She hands him the correct change so he wouldn't bother her again and takes a sip, gazing out of the window. Not at anything in particular. She thinks back to this morning and tries to figure out how the hell her life got this bad.

* * *

_**~FLASHBACK TO THIS**__**MORNING~**_

_Quinn's sleep was abruptly interrupted by the sound of her Dad shouting in her face._

_"Quinn, get the fuck up and get out of this house right now!"_

_Quinn flinches and rolls over to see her clock. "But it's… only 5:48am, Dad", Quinn replied obviously confused. Maybe he's mistaken. Maybe he's sleepwalking?_

_"How many times, you idiot? I'm not your father! Now get out of my house before I have to drag you out myself!" And with that, he slammed her door closed, giving Quinn approximately 10 minutes before he would drag her out. She had experienced this wake-up call enough times to know he was deadly serious._

_Russell Fabray is the ideal father and family man according to the residents of Lima. He has a beautiful wife who adores him, and two stunning daughters. He is the CEO of the biggest company in Ohio and has a stunning house to show off his years of hard work. However, behind the curtains of the Fabray house he is a monster. His wife, Judy, had been hospitalised twice due to his violence in the first 5 years of their marriage, brainwashing her into thinking that what they were doing to their children was justified by the fact that naughty children should be punished. Whenever a 4-year-old Frannie would make her baby sister cry, she would hit across the face so hard that she would fly halfway across the room. The violence towards the girls got worse as they got older. If either of them missed a curfew by as little as 30 seconds, they would have their head smashed into a wall. Quinn was surprised that her or her sister hadn't been killed._

_Quinn picked out black skinny jeans, a sky blue baby doll shirt, and a white long-sleeved cardigan and rushes to get ready. She opted for minimal makeup and natural hair as there was simply no time for anything else. She grabs all the school books she can find, bundles them into her bag and speeds out of her room._

_As she closes her bedroom door, she sees Russell walking towards the top of the stairs. She plucks up enough courage to talk to him._

_"Why do I have to leave so early, Daddy? I promise if I stay you won't see me and I'll be gone before you know it." Her voice is so quiet that she wonders if he even heard her._

_To her surprise, Russell grabs her right upper arm. Quinn was so scared. What is going on? He gives her a sickening smile and throws her down the stairs._

_"Is that enough of an answer for you? Now get out of my sight before I really lose my temper!"_

_Despite the pain in her ankle and back, she gathers up her bag and runs out of the house and into her car. She drives to school and waits for the sun to rise on what is already a horrific day._

* * *

Glee passed excruciatingly slowly, as Rachel's mind kept thinking back to her encounter with Quinn in the bathroom earlier today. Something was definitely wrong, and she was going to find out and help her. Deciding that she would call Quinn as soon as she got home, she raced to her car and started her journey home. She stopped at the red light outside the Lima Bean, and glanced over to see if they had any specials on today. What she didn't expect to see, however, was Quinn's car parked in the car park. Rachel turned into the car park, wondering why Quinn was here and not at home. She turns off the engine and heads inside, hoping to catch a quick chat with Quinn to make sure she's okay.

* * *

Quinn is dragged out of her thoughts as she sees Rachel's car enter the car park out of the corner of her eye. She looks at the clock hanging on the wall – 4:30 – Glee was definitely over. _'Crap, she found me,'_ she thought. Immediately, her brain goes into panic-mode and all she wants to do is cut her arms deep enough to make it all go away. She quickly delves through her bag until she finds what she was looking for, her most cherished possession – the box containing multiple types of blades – and runs to the bathroom to lock herself in a stall, almost knocking over a customer on the way.

Once again, she found herself in the same position as she was an hour ago – on the bathroom floor, with a blade held tightly in her shaking hand. She had carefully selected this particular blade as it cuts the deepest. She rolls up the sleeve of her cardigan until it is past her elbow. With her hands shaking and her mind reeling, she brings the blade to her porcelain skin. She winces as she can feel and see the blade breaking the skin. The blood is instantaneous. Crimson drops of relief turned into flows of never-ending recklessness. After making 3 deep cuts on the inner side of her left arm, Quinn just sat there and watched as the blood flowed onto the floor. They weren't deep enough for stitches, but she knew it would take a while to stop the bleeding this time. It sickened her to think that she was now calmer than she had been all day.

* * *

"Hello, can I order you anything today?"

"Hello, I was wondering if you've seen my friend at all. You see, her car is outside. She's tall, blonde, extremely pretty, and was wearing a blue top and black jeans? It's really important to me that I find her, I need to talk—"

Rachel was cut off with a smile by the guy behind the desk."She headed to the bathroom about a minute ago"

"Thank you so much sir". She flashes him a signature Rachel Berry 1000-watt smile and heads to the bathroom.

* * *

"Quinn, are you in here?"

Quinn rolled her eyes,_ 'what is it with her and finding me like this in the bathroom?'_ Not wanting to arouse anymore suspicion, she scrambles once again to get some toilet paper to stop the bleeding. She rolls her cardigan down and hopes the blood doesn't seep through. She stashes the blade in her pocket and walks out of the stall.

What she didn't expect to see was Rachel stood by the sinks with a concerned look in her eyes, almost pleading Quinn's soul to spill its darkest secrets. "Quinn, please, why weren't you at Glee today?"

This caught her off guard. "Um, I have to go Rachel I'll be there tomorrow okay. Text me later okay?" She added the last part in an attempt to sound as normal as possible.

"Wait," Rachel grabs Quinn's arm in a vice-like grip, unaware of the cuts underneath of her hand, "I'm about to order, we could sit and chat". She smiles, hopeful that Quinn might comply.

Quinn forces her arm out of Rachel's constricting grip and notices the blood already staining her cardigan. Rachel glances down at Quinn's arm, but the blonde is quick and hides it from Rachel's view.

"I have to go." And with that, Quinn leaves Rachel standing confused in a bathroom for the second time today.

* * *

Rachel was just about to chase after Quinn and demand to know why she was avoiding her, but a strange sensation on her hand stopped her in her tracks. She looked down.

Blood.

_'That's not mine,'_ she thought. Her intuition told her to go look in the stall Quinn was in a few minutes ago. A few drops of fresh blood, still glistening under the light, marked the floor. Rachel felt a lump in her throat and fought back tears as she put two and two together. _'Quinn wouldn't do that to herself, would she?_'

Rachel needed to find her. She dashed out of the bathroom, only to find Quinn's car reversing out of its parking space. She decided she needed to be calm about this, and walked out of the restaurant and started following Quinn's car a few vehicles back so the blonde didn't see her.

'_Where is she going?'_

* * *

**Thank you for reading this chapter! I know it's longer than the last one, but I felt it was necessary.**

**I need some suggestions for the next few chapters, guys!**

**I'll update again in a few days. Thanks for all of your support so far xx**


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